There are times when all you want to do is stay in bed and sulk. Not because he left you. Its because everything he said to you just seemed a lie. You probably lived in a bubble where you built your castles. Well, he walked all over it.
I’ve been there.
But I have learnt to learn from my own mistakes that must have caused it.
I have learnt to be stronger and be a bigger and better person.
I have learnt to hate everything I loved about that one person.
Most importantly, I learnt to love myself more than anything in this world.
I confided in my best friend. He was there to listen, he was there for comfort, he was there to understand.
He held my hand in this unknown world that I am in and walked with me through the thick and thin I had been facing.
And there it was. Hope.
Friendship that suddenly began turning into a feeling.
The feeling I thought I’d never feel again.
He made me strong. He made me believe in myself again. Sometimes I just don’t have words to explain to him how much his presence means to me. It keeps me sane. It keeps me away from my thoughts, from my disbeliefs.
I don’t know if he knows how much I love him. Although the word has been thrown around and been abused, I know no other word to use. Words are not enough for me to say how much I appreciate everything he has done for me.
I believe in myself. I believe in us.
My best friend has turned into some one I now cannot even think of being away from.
It is important to be friends with your partner. That is what I have learnt. The true essence of friendship is found through love. And through love, you find friendship.
Its the best feeling to be who you are in front of your partner. You don’t need to fake anything, that will only lead to a lot of judgement. Its the best feeling, that laughter you share, those tears you cry, to know that you are there for each other, as lovers BUT most importantly, as friends.
I respect my best friend and I love him to bits - my boyfriend he is !
In search of light, in this very dark world,
Caught in chaos, drowning in a swirl of fright,
Feeling weaker and weaker, falling into a silent trap of the loudest sounds,
Going insane, and here I am, with myself I fight.
When at night, they haunt me in my dreams,
In my dreams I wish to wake,
But when I open my eyes,
I’m caught in a realm, not knowing what’s real… and what’s fake.
There is no scar for my happiness, so what is there to remember ?
There are scars from the pain you’ve caused me, which made me feel better.
Scars are only a proof, that I survived what I was going through.
My scars mean nothing to you, but know that they’re there because of you.
You’re here today, tomorrow you’re gone.
Each time you return. you leave my heart more torn.
"I will be OK", I say to myself.
Its a lie I say to get by each day.
To hate you or love you is the dilemma of my life,
I can’t live without thinking everyday that one day I’ll be your wife.
I hope one day you realise how much you destroyed me.
I was ready to trade my soul for you and all you did was turned your back on me.
I hope one day Karma gets you back,
And when it does … I’ll be long gone.