And I stood there ignoring the beautiful things in front of me, just looking for the ugliest thing to jump at me.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that since I’ve been hurt, heartbroken and betrayed by everyone around me.
But this time, its different. Its important to embrace the person you love. Sometimes things can be dealt with in such simple ways, its you who makes it complicated. 
There’s still a crazy part of me that thinks things just mess up in general. I wish I could change that. But I’m sorry I cant. 
I’m sorry.

 

I know.

There are times when all you want to do is stay in bed and sulk. Not because he left you. Its because everything he said to you just seemed a lie. You probably lived in a bubble where you built your castles. Well, he walked all over it. 

I’ve been there.

But I have learnt to learn from my own mistakes that must have caused it. 
I have learnt to be stronger and be a bigger and better person.
I have learnt to hate everything I loved about that one person. 
Most importantly, I learnt to love myself more than anything in this world. 

I confided in my best friend. He was there to listen, he was there for comfort, he was there to understand. 

He held my hand in this unknown world that I am in and walked with me through the thick and thin I had been facing.

And there it was. Hope.
Friendship that suddenly began turning into a feeling.
The feeling I thought I’d never feel again. 

He made me strong. He made me believe in myself again. Sometimes I just don’t have words to explain to him how much his presence means to me. It keeps me sane. It keeps me away from my thoughts, from my disbeliefs. 

I don’t know if he knows how much I love him. Although the word has been thrown around and been abused, I know no other word to use. Words are not enough for me to say how much I appreciate everything he has done for me. 

I believe in myself. I believe in us.
My best friend has turned into some one I now cannot even think of being away from.

It is important to be friends with your partner. That is what I have learnt. The true essence of friendship is found through love. And through love, you find friendship. 

Its the best feeling to be who you are in front of your partner. You don’t need to fake anything, that will only lead to a lot of judgement. Its the best feeling, that laughter you share, those tears you cry, to know that you are there for each other, as lovers BUT most importantly, as friends.

I respect my best friend and I love him to bits - my boyfriend he is ! 

Let me go. Let me fall. I’ve fallen before, I won’t feel the pain.
Let me breathe. Let me live. Don’t choke me with your words and tell me there’s nothing in this ugly world to gain.